introduction: my guilty secrets

I still think Korn are a good band

 

I watch Hollyoaks

 

I talk to my cats like how women whose ovaries are on the clock talk to babies

 

I have kissed two men who were dressed as women at the time

 

I wrote a 3000 word essay on Gone with the Wind after sleeping through the whole film (and got a 60% grade)

 

Whilst babysitting an 8 year old girl she told me I will go to hell when I die because I told her I did not believe Jesus was the son of God

 

I like eating peas with ketchup as a meal

 

I wish I could live a day in an American High School movie as the arty geek who suddenly becomes hot when I take off my thick rimmed glasses which is why Zak Efron asks me to prom

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